Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Ugh.

Yesterday was a good day. I accomplished one million things on my to-do list, exercised (I know!) and then went and took a stroll through the country with friends.

I was feeling very lucky and blissed-out by life.

I get home and the bubble bursts.

I got an email from my aunt (mom's sister) saying that my grandma's dementia, which has been rough for a couple of years now, is getting increasingly worse.

Not only is she forgetting people, but now she is forgetting everything. She knows that her memory is fading and it makes her nervous. She's afraid to be alone.

She has agreed that she needs to move into assisted living but has no idea that it's about to happen this weekend. What sucks is that she's just so scared - not knowing what's going on daily must be terrifying.

And so this is one of those days where I'm really missing my mom. I know that having here here wouldn't make this any better, but it sucks.

It sucks that my mom isn't around to help. It sucks that seeing me makes my grandma think of my mom... and that in and of itself just sucks. It sucks because my grandma wishes it were her instead of my mom.

And what sucks the worst is that my aunts in Illinois are bearing the burden of her care by themselves and I'm not really in a position with work where I can go help out.

Life sneaks up on you when you least expect it, sometimes. It sucks.

And then you see a tweet like this and get really pissed off.

Cause life?

Sometimes it just freaking sucks.

28 Classy Comments:

Tess said...

awww, girl I'm so sorry about your Grandma. It's not easy to have to watch a loved one suffer. And I'm sure you know this all too well.

I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

And Cool Products? What a loser.

the girl in the red shoes said...

Oh honey I am so sorry about your grandma. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Savannah said...

So sorry about your grandma. Sometimes life sneaks up on us but it's what we choose to do with those moments that counts!

Thomasina said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandma. I can't imagine how hard this must be, and I can't imagine the pain you feel when you're missing your mom. I'm sending prayers your way, and just remember that God is there to comfort you.

Sweet Simplicity said...

Thinking about you!

Aly said...

I'm so sorry Sarah! I hope that the move goes smoothly this weekend. Thinking about you!

Jess said...

Yuck all around:(
Been there, done that in regards to my grandma (Mom's mom) and now grandfather. It is really hard and I will be thinking of you.

stephanie said...

I'm sorry, that does just suck.

mrs.mfc said...

I'm so sorry all that is going on. Thinking about you.

xoxo

Gwen said...

I'm sending you and your Grandma my prayers. I know it must be hard on you being so far away. I still don't like Mother's Day and I am a mother. It just doesn't seem right celebrating a day when my Mom can't be here celebrating too. Hugs to you.

The Shabby Princess said...

Oh honey, I am so sorry. My grandmother went down that road recently and it was so hard on us all--I totally understand. Your family will be in my prayers. And yes, life does freaking suck sometimes--especially on Mother's Day. Ef.

xxoxo

Mrs. Jones said...

That beyond sucks. Sending tons of hugs your way.

Kimberly said...

Wish there were words to make this easier, but just know you have a lot of people that care about you and are sending out good vibes your way. My step-grandpa was in a similar situation last year and it was/is very difficult. Try to stay positive and dwell on the good times though it is hard.

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

Oh ick. That's no fun at all! Sometimes those holiday-specific marketing things can get you just when you're not expecting it. I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. :(

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. I used to work in an assisted living home that specialized in dementia and alzheimers, make sure to visit often. It will be hard for you, but it really will make her feel better. I wish I could still work there because I really loved it.
That tweet was cruel, screw mothers day. Thinking of you!

rachel said...

both my mom and my fiance's moms passed away when we were younger and it's been really hard planning a wedding without them. i ready your blog post and immediately teared up because those sentiments just felt all too familiar. i'm sorry to hear about your grandma. it's sad and at the same time bizarre to experience a loved one go through that. keep your chin up girl, you are loved! ( :

Ashley said...

Sending extra warm thoughts your way, Sarah. xx

Wendy said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your gran. Also for the sucky tweet. Somedays, even though unintentional - marketers are sure make it feel as thought someone swapped the loo roll for sandpaper.

Sending {{{hugs}}} across the net.

Jackie said...

:(

Hope today is better!

sweethomeamy said...

Sending you lots of hugs darling!! xoxoxox

Allison said...

The same thing happened with my grandmother, and it was very sad. My family had to hire a sitter for her b/c they were afraid what would happen. I'm sorry to hear about all of it. I hope tomorrow is better.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

This is really, really hard love. And I know it's got to be even harder being so far from home. I already told you on Twitter, but I'm praying for you and your family as y'all deal with this..

Carrie said...

my mother's father is going through exactly the same thing right now. it's such a hard situation. and we all feel so helpless when we can't be there. Praying for you and your family!

PS - tell @CoolProducts to take a flying leap...

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Lindsey said...

I'm right there with you....but I"m sorry all the same. I hope things get easier for you.

Danielle said...

I'm so sorry to read about your grandma. I'll be praying for a smooth transition for her and your family!

linnea paulina said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandma and I hope that the rest of your family is doing ok! Hugs!!!

etta said...

Hopefully the facility they put her in is a great one where the staff actually like the residents. I adore some of my residents and take excellent care of them. :)

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