Tuesday, October 21, 2014


So - this past week, I turned the age where I officially have forgotten what age I am.  No joke, I've officially answered wrong more times than I've answered correctly.... therefore, I believe I am diagnosed as senile.  Or old.

I have to put it in writing because it won't count otherwise - but this is the last year that I'm allowed to make my own cake.  It's time to pass on this own time-honored tradition of homemade cake and good frosting to my husband, who can one day pass it along to my children.

Because if I one day birth children who do not grow up to make me homemade cakes with delicious icing... my life is for naught. 

On another note... what in the eff can I blame my lame cake-frosting skillz on?  I'm pretty sure I need to take a class in this ASAP.  Cause whoa, bad.

Maybe next year?

Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Paper Anniversary Trip

Almost three weeks ago now, Mr. RH and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary!  It came and went so damn fast, and that was after the solid 2+ months of agonizing over what would be special enough to celebrate such a lovely (LONG - and yet short!) year of marriage.

We thought about going to Chicago, where we celebrated our engagement.  Then maybe we were sick of Chicago - how about St. Louis, or a trip to IKEA for the wife... for some reason, Mr. RH wasn't into all that.  Weird.

So after much googling, I decided that we would really enjoy a trip to French Lick, Indiana, to the gorgeous and romantic West Baden Springs Hotel.  It's a gorgeous, old historic hotel that's been completely renovated and updated... and we were so excited to check it out.

Of course, 3.5 hours into our little road trip and a million construction cones later... we were both pretty dang cranky by the time we arrived.

As soon as we got into the hotel, though, we were both blown away.  The hotel encircles the main lobby, which is a giant, domed atrium straight out of a movie set.

Fancy shmancy.

I, being the village idiot, decided a room that wasn't overlooking the atrium would be oh-so-much better than the atrium views - because you could overlook the giant property, gardens, etc.  FOOL.  Those rooms with balconies overlooking the main lobby are where it's at.  Sigh, perhaps when we return.

We took ourselves on a tour around the property, gardens, and read up on the history of the resort.  I could literally go into it, cause it was fascinating, but I'll spare you.  Needless to say - super cool place, lots of history, almost spooky cause it was very quiet and the place was quite the roaring establishment in the early 1900s.

Of course, there were many selfies.... (ok, like... maybe 4 all weekend).

And I forced tortured blessed my husband with many requests to smile for a picture.  Or not, I basically just snapped away at my pleasure.

And - is it sad that this is one of my highlights of the weekend? - my cute husband snapped a pic of me that's in focus!!  On the fancy camera.  I have hope that my future children or grandchildren will someday know that I existed in a tangible way. 

I mean, I may have a slightly bitchy look on my face, but that's mostly because every other pic that my darling husband snapped was of my boobs.  Cute.  Not.

Of course, time flew and it was time for us to head to the nearby French Lick resort for a fancy-shmancy dinner.  Cinderella put on her finest shoes.... my wedding shoes.  I was so happy to see them again, although I don't remember them hurting like this last year. 

 Apologies for the foot selfie.  

I must say - last year I wore the shoes for a few hours every day for about a week leading up to the wedding.  It must have worked! 

I dolled myself up extra-fancy and spent forever on my hair and makeup... which I would like to document in this lovely selfie... which I will entitle "Do You Know How Difficult It Is to Selfie in a Strapless Dress Without Looking Nude?"

Very. Difficult.  Hence the lovely background, sorry.

Two minutes after that lovely photo, the surprise September Summer we are having in Indiana reared it's ugly, humid head, and left me with what you see below.  You win some, you lose some.  At least my hair looked good last September.

The property that was bustling with tourist-y types earlier was surprisingly vacant when it came to photo-snapping time, much to my everlasting disappointment.  Selfie it is.

We went to the adjoining property's "award-winning" steakhouse, which  is to say - it was a very fancy hotel, a nice steakhouse, but kinda lacking in ambiance for such a lovely, historic property.

  •  My pork something-or-other was maybe one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten, but things went semi-downhill from there.   We had a waiter and another, random attendant... who basically disappeared when they delivered our check.  Seriously, we tried to pay the bill for 15 minutes with no luck.  There was a place to write our room number in to bill it there, and we eventually did - but I wonder what would have happened if we just walked out.  Luckily, we paid.
  • They brought us chocolate-covered strawberries for our anniversary, which I could barely enjoy because my dress was quite corseted.  
  • They deliver a rose at the end of your meal and I was happy to report that my wedding-day nail polish (Essie's Head Mistress) still matches a red rose quite exactly.  I was embarrassed to snap a pic at such a swanky table early in the meal - but after they started ignoring us, I just decided to go for it.

We returned to our hotel as the sun was setting, and sat in the lobby and soaked it up.  There was a lady playing the piano, and maybe a cellist.

We watched the ceiling do it's swanky thing, which totally explained the abundance of chaise lounges in the place.  We sat in chairs and were totally, awkwardly bent staring at the ceiling... like most everyone else in the place.

I am still kicking myself for not going through with my original "paper anniversary" plan of hiring a local photographer to do a little mini-session on the gorgeous grounds of the hotel.  Cause that would have been AMAZING, no?

And... photos can be printed on paper, which would satisfy the paper anniversary requirement, no?  Luckily, we snagged some postcards of the hotel - done.

The question remains - do I want to come back with my husband?.... or would this make an even better place to meet some girlfriends for the weekend?  Cause I know they would really appreciate my photo-shooting ways.  And the gorgeous spa.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Get Yo Craft On. Twice, Maybe Thrice.

We're gonna skip over the fact that I've dropped off of the blog planet and just act like I dropped off in the middle of a paragraph, ok?

And GO:

Way back a thousand years ago, when I was a young(er) newlywed and was consumed with creating The Perfect Home (bwahahahahaha) for my groom, I saw a craft on Pinterest and damn if I didn't want a piece of that action.

The original pic (below) has been re-posted and pinned a ton, and the original "post" I found links back to pinterest, so SOMEBODY out there came up with this genius idea.

I think, PERFECT, I can totally make that happen.  Cue act 1.  That started in FEBRUARY.  As in, 9 months ago.

If you are interested in killing yourself slowly, you can find buttons at JoAnn Fabrics, but, in my case, not Hobby Lobby.  They don't sell bulk packs.  (See, now you can say a blog taught you something today!)

I was proud because the start of this project was going so smoothly.  When it got to shaping the perfect heart, I very lightly traced out a heart... and then effed it the heck up.

I still can't figure out how it looked pretty before I started filling in the buttons... and then not pretty.  It was wonky.  Lopsided.  SAD.

Now, 9 months later.... I'm not sure it really looked that bad.  It looks symmetrical-enough to me...

And then, I re-did the damn thing last month.  This time, with 2 layers of buttons.

Guess what?  I broke my iPhone's camera (unrelated except for the horrible quality of this pic) AAAAND I still hate the damn heart.  Hate hate loathe.

In pictures I feel like I'm over-reacting... but in person, NOPE.

So now I'm debating if I want to start over AGAIN.

But I almost can't bear to rip it all off and re-start.  So instead it's been sitting on various tables around my house making my husband consider divorce.

Which is completely irrational.  Which I'm fairly sure is what he would say re-doing a craft project 3 times is... but then again, some would say it's art and you can't rush a masterpiece.

And masterpiece is loosely translated into "copying something from Pinterest."

The End.

Soo... start over?  I think the original picture shows they have a burlap/fabric heart underneath the buttons, which would TOTALLY help my wonky-heart problem.... except then I would have 4 wonky fabric hearts and have to choose one of them.  Paralyzing.

I've missed it around here.  Let's meet again soon, shall we?

Sunday, September 21, 2014

#SBwed: 1 Year


Ahhhh. I've had a couple of posts in draft for weeks, but I honestly haven't even been able to post them because this post has been in the back of my mind, taunting me.  How can I wrap up the first 365 days of marriage in a neat little bow? 

Well, I'm not sure I can.

Is marriage exactly what I expected on September 20th of last year?  Heck no.

Am I exactly the same person I was on September 21st of last year?  Definitely not.

For starters, I can't recall the last time I dolled myself up like this!

Marriage has been a study in contrasts. 

Prior to today, I can't recall being so angry at someone and then SO happy to see a smile cross his face.  (When I'm angry, I try to tell him to NOT look at me, because I hate to lose all that righteous indignation with one grin!)

Poor Mr. RH has learned a LOT about his new bride: like the fact that the most type-A among us could call her a slob, even though she's never dirty.  She will lose her damn mind if you leave a dish in the sink.  Don't touch her kindle or she will wreck you. She will also flip out if you use her toothbrush, even accidentally!  No, she's not just relieved that you brushed your teeth.  Ick, gross.  She cries for no reason.... sometimes, even because she feels like crying.  She will eat slices of cheese for dinner and can't possibly understand the problem with that.  She thinks it's OK to skip washing your hair for days on end if it looks good.  DEAL WITH IT.

I'm sorry, I feel like that was a tangent. 

Marriage.  It's really effing hard, but it makes me laugh SO much harder than I've ever laughed.  It's a doozy, but one I would repeat a hundred times again - but only with the right guy.

Happy Anniversary, Mr. RH!  If I knew how great our lives together were going to turn out when I met you shopping for cologne, I for sure wouldn't have tried to pass you off onto my coworker.

Love you.

Thursday, September 11, 2014


"The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart." 

Photo from Ground Zero, 2002

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