In my head, I've been busy lately, and the words seem to disappear every time I try to write them down.
I say I've only been busy in my head, because if I try to recall what has actually been filling up my calendar... I'm coming up rather empty.
I interviewed for a job last week, and it went well. I felt like for once I actually asked the right questions - but then after the interview, I was able to actually think of more that I should have asked or been more firm about. It was weird - the lady interviewing me, who would have become my boss, really seemed quite content to let me do the majority of the talking - so I can't figure out if my questions clued her in to the fact that I knew what I was talking about... or if she was just generally.... I dunno, not inclined to ask more?
I was feeling 50/50 - I felt like I actually did a good job of digging around, but she didn't really quiz me or ask me much that I felt like I needed to answer... so that was weird. The interview ended with her telling me she would have an offer on Friday. And she did call on Thursday afternoon, as soon as she had an offer prepared.
I know, rationally, that I probably need to get a move on. I've outgrown my job, and the only options for moving up are basically taking me in a direction I don't want to go. So - an offer on the table should make my decision easy, right?
HAH. I had been contemplating it all week. Was there a magical number that would make the decision for me - yes and no. Was there a part of me that wanted to get out of my current job just to prove I could - yes. Did I make myself crazy worrying - duh.
In the end, after I really reviewed what we had talked about in the interview - I was able to make up my mind in a second. The work-life balance the new company was offering was SO poor compared to my current job. As in - working the entire week of Thanksgiving. As in, 7 days. Even in the crappy game of retail - that is some real BS, folks. My store can function just fine and doesn't require my physical presence to do business. Thankgod.
The interviewer also talked significantly about "work-life balance", which is a fun little phrase that I think can cover all kinds of poor management strategies. She even said that she personally really valued work-life balance - but also that she was available "24/7" to her team and her family was grown so she was all work, all the time. RED FLAGS DANGER WILL ROBINSON.
(Side note: who is Will Robinson? I feel better now that I know that.)
So. I obviously turned down the job cold. She told me that she was really pleased with my offer (it was a definite low-ball, 100%), and I said I just felt like there was a lot of lip service to a company practice that was probably not totally on board with the concept.
It felt good to know that I can make a move when the right job comes along, and it also really felt good to say no to something that was just going to end up being a huge mistake.
I'm fairly certain this is not what I was planning to blog about today. Like - not by a long shot. But all through February I had this weight on my chest and felt like I needed to make a move, make some decisions, and nothing paralyzes me more than a life-altering decision. Blah.
Onward and upward, March! Don't let me down!
Side note: If you too have a bad habit of eating your feelings, don't marry my husband because he is an enabler. We had planned a little midweek date with the TV and in the midst of my stressing, he brought me something from the Taco Bell drive through... and it was literally disgusting and delicious at the same time.
Certainly that helps with the end of February funk, right?