Warm Bread Products are My Kryptonite

If you've been hanging around here at all, ever, you know that I love me a good carbohydrate.

And when I started tweeting last week about making up a batch of homemade biscuits people replied with something along the lines of "Who the heck are you, Betty Crocker?!"

So I decided to share my not-at-all-secret-or-even-really-mine Homemade Biscuit Recipe. Which I got in my 7th grade Home Ec class.

Baking Powder Biscuits
1/3 cup shortening (I use butter)
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2.5 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon sugar (not in original recipe)
3/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup milk

(This appears to be taken out of a cook book but I have NO IDEA which one... and the internet is not helping me locate the original source. So apologies to the super-awesome person who invented this recipe.)

And here's how you make them. Unlike other types of baked goods, like cookies, biscuits have to be made properly. (Read: pain in the butt!)

Heat oven to 450 degrees.

Cut shortening into flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar.

(Or - if you are Sarah - and heard about this neat trick on the internet.... freeze butter in cubes for 20 minutes. Then chop it in the food processor with flour.)

I think this mixture was a bit too finely chopped for perfect biscuits. Lessons learned.

Next, add milk slowly. This mixture should be thick and kind of hard to stir. I usually use a sturdy wooden spoon.

"Too much milk makes dough sticky, not enough makes biscuits dry."

(Sorry, no picture of that step. Was obvs too busy stirring my biscuits.)

Then, turn out dough onto a lightly floured surface - like my shiny red cutting board.
Knead lightly 10 times, eventually pressing it out to a half inch thick.

I think you can use a rolling pin here but I usually do it by hand.

Instead of cutting out traditional round biscuits, I just cop out the easy way. A pizza roller makes nice, square biscuits. Or, on this day... it makes completely uneven biscuits.
All the photo taking pressure was getting to me.

Ten to 12 minutes later (or 9, if you're impatient like me and like underdone biscuits) you get this golden-brown deliciousness:
Mmm... warm bread products.

Slice open, smother with butter, and serve.

And seriously, don't come crying to me when your pants don't fit. I dish out the goods but you're gonna have to look elsewhere for your weight loss solutions.

I got none. (Hence, the butter.)

Happy Monday everyone!

P.S. I am giving an update on L'Oreal Paris Lash Boosting products over on Chic Critique today.