Thursday, May 8, 2014

I'm a Few Cards Shy of a Full Deck

Now, this is a story all about how my life got flip-turned upside down I realized sometimes I'm a complete idiot.

A few weeks ago, a few people at work asked me if I was ok.

Umm, yes, totally fine.  

It happened a few days in a row, but I just figured I was tired or.... something.

Days go by.

I finally realize that, actually, I am looking a little pale.  Hmm.

One morning, while putting on my blush, I feel like I just can't get it as pigmented as I want it to be.


No matter, I just keep on keeping on.  For days.

Finally, I start to think that maybe my blush has crusted over (maybe with hairspray?) and thus the color is not releasing onto my cheeks.  But I still use it, no big deal.

Finally, one morning - after umpteen blush applications, I reach down and press into the blush with my finger nail.  My finger doesn't sink in at all - because the cute little quilted pattern was PLASTIC.


As in, I had used all my blush and magically didn't notice it had become this lovely quilted pattern.  Perhaps I was thinking I had some sort of magical, regenerating blush??


As in, for weeks I struggled with a mystery "illness" on my face and my blush magically stopped working.

Except - that only happened in my HEAD (magical land of never-ending makeup, I suppose).  And in reality I was swiping AIR onto my cheeks every morning and wondering why my cheeks never stayed (or GOT in the first place) very pink.

Oy.

 Actual Full, Working Blush is on the Right

And just to defame myself further, it's not even like I get ready to leave the house at ungodly hours.  Sometimes it's even afternoon.

Just wanted to warn all of you in case the symptoms of pale-face-itis is plaguing anyone else.

We must band together to defeat..... my craziness, apparently.

Please tell me I'm not the only person who has done something so dumb over and over and over.  Oops.

Also, if you're in the market for a new blush, I highly recommend LORAC.  It replaced my beloved Nars Orgasm because hello I am not dumb and not paying a million dollars for a blush.  The end.


The color I've been using is Velvet Rope.

End Scene. 

8 Classy Comments:

Courtney said...

Wait how in the world did you get a plastic blush in the first place?! That sounds like some shit I would do. I'm also pregnant and have mom brain. Something you need to tell us? ;)

Meg @ write meg! said...

Oh dear! I've definitely done similar things -- it's not just you. Blush is a battle sometimes, that's for sure. I used to buy expensive brands but am heading toward house-poverty, as you know, so I'm back to whatever I can find cheaply at Target . . . and I'm pretty much loving my latest one! I believe it's Physician's Formula, but I wouldn't swear to it. This one looks pretty. And I'm glad you're "feeling better," haha! :)

melissa said...

That's hilarious. Totally something I'd do.

Annie said...

Too funny! I'm definitely interested in where you find Lorac. Anything cheaper but just as good as NARS is awesome and something I need to try!

Tess said...

Ok thats hilarious and that plastic is INCREDIBLY deceiving!

Sarah said...

This is hilarious! I can totally see myself doing the same thing! LOL

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Haha, that sounds like something I would do.

Karla Neese said...

Too funny! I would totally do something like that.

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