Wednesday, May 8, 2013

My Advice: Take the Damn Photo

I get it - as a woman, one of my biggest Achilles heels is vanity.  Need further proof?  See my post from an hour ago.  What I didn't mention in that post is that, sometimes, my embarrassment over a very mild skin condition keeps me from wearing the clothes I want.  Ridiculous, right?

Right.

If I had to guess the biggest reason that a woman would deliberately not appear in a photo, it would be, in her words, because "I'm not ____________." 

Fill in the blank.  Thin enough.  Made-up enough.  Primped enough.  Tan enough.  Perfect enough.

You know what?  Screw the excuses.

One of the biggest things that tears at my heart regarding my mom is that there are so few photos of us together, especially as I got older.

Usually, it was because one of the two of us was behind the camera.   But the other half of the time, it was probably because one of us wasn't wearing makeup, or didn't do our hair that day.

In hindsight?  So. effing. stupid.

It makes me want to scream.

The photo below is probably the most-posted photo on this blog, if I had to guess.  It's the last photo that I believe we have together - 6 months before she died.

Six. flipping. months.

She was happy and quite healthy for at least three of those months.  She helped move me back into college, I had my 21st birthday.  I guarantee we could have found another photo-worthy occasion.

I swear, my intention with today's post isn't to make anybody sad.  (Tell that to the box of tissues I'm rapidly emptying.)

But it is directed at all the mommies, and daughters of mommies, and really anybodySeriously.

Take the damn photo.  You are the only one who gives any shits about your stupid double chin or un-tweezed eyebrows or bad hair.

Take the damn photo.

Please.

(And yes, I am a cliche and need to heed my own dang advice with Mr. RH.  I bet we have less than 20 photos together.  We have a whole lifetime to take more photos, I hope, but we'll only be this young and free once, right?)   



16 Classy Comments:

Veronica Joyce said...

I love your advice. I have the same experience of wanting to take as many photos with the ones I love but failed to do so for such mundane reasons and regret it later on.

Claudz said...

Excellent advice and so true.
It's one of my resolutions for 2013 to take more photos but I haven't been very good at it.
What always surprises me is how I thought I looked terrible in a photo but 5 years later, I actually think I looked pretty good. You remember the moment and forget the double chin right?

Lauren said...

Great advice!!!! Thank you for the reminder!!!! XOXOXO

Nessa said...

I absolutely love it! I have almost no pictures with my mom now that I'm an adult, but I definitely make it a point to take some with my daughter, even if they're only cell-quality pictures.

Christina @ The Murrayed Life said...

Great reminder. It can be so hard sometimes, especially when we see all these beautiful glossy photos on blogs, but the point is to document and remember, not be perfect. I definitely have to get better at this!!

Sarah and Stewart said...

I could not agree with this post more! People are sometimes annoyed with how many photos I take, and I always remind them, "These are memories frozen in time, people!" My sister sometimes flat out refuses to be in photos, I don't know if it's because of personal insecurities or what, but I think one day she will look back and regret it. Just stopping by from the challenge... thanks for sharing!

Mrs. Jones said...

This is one of the best things I have read all week. Thank you for sharing!

-Lauren said...

You are so right. I am never in pictures with my boys because I am too fat, too pale, my hair is ugly, blah blah blah! Thanks for the reminder. Heart you!

amy said...

IT sucks being a motherless daughter. I wish i had more photos too. My mom died right before I left for my freshman year of college. It's been thirty years and I still miss her.
And yes take the damn picture because it might be the one that shows everything between you and the person in the photo.

Heather K. said...

Good advice! My excuse for not taking photos is I don't want to "look touristy" or "I'll have memories" but the truth is... I forget and I miss the opportunity to capture some really great moments.

Solid stuff.

Carrie said...

Found you via the Blog Every Day in May linkup!
This post reminded me of my friend. We have very few photos together because of the reasons you mentioned in the post - she doesn't like her current weight, etc. So the last time I saw her, we thoroughly enjoyed catching up, but she didn't want to take a photo together. I wish she'd realize that when I look at photos, I'm not focusing on people's weight or what they look like - what I focus on instead is their fantastic qualities and the good times we've had together!

Erin O. said...

It is funny that you say that. I can count on one finger how many photos I have of Andrew and I. Take the damn photo was my thought in the last three years of my mom's life.

The last photo I have of her is while she was getting treatment and she had a smile on her face. My only regret is that we didn't take as many photos as I wanted. Thanks for reminding me that life is short and I need more proof that Andrew and I did exist(because we only have 5 pics!!)

Deals, Steals and Heels said...

my mom is a camera LUNATIC, and while i make fun of her sometimes because she doesn't understand facebook so no one ever sees those pictures but her, she HAS captured some of my grandmother and i that i know i'll treasure for a long time!

Andie said...

yep! just recently, we had to provide a picture of ourselves with our mom for the moms blog and my mom had a hard time finding a decent picture of us. She hates being in pictures and it drives me insane. That is ONE way that I am NOT like her. I love to pose for pictures! haha!

but this is a great post, and great advice.

and HUGS!!!!

Sarah Elizabeth said...

You're so right about this. Since I started reading your blog I've thought about you every mother's day. Especially now as I've had my own battle with breast cancer and think about the future of my child. You should find comfort knowing that you give such a glowing homage to your mother daily, and especially every year on mother's day. Love you.

Rachel said...

Great post my friend. I am trying so hard to be intentional when it comes to getting in pictures with my girl. I know my future isn't promised to me, and maybe I'm a bit crazy about getting photos of us together, but I want her to have those.

Love you friend.

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