Tuesday, March 5, 2013

So Many Questions.

So, first and foremost, I gave up my engagement ring on Sunday because it needs to visit the shop.

I keep looking at my left hand and self-consciously grabbing at it and mostly being weird.  I'm sure it's all in my head.  

So, question.  I'm pretty sure the ring is too big.  It's been too big mostly since I put it on my hand, but I have a fear.  See all those little diamonds along the edge of the ring?  I'm afraid that if I have the ring resized, they will start falling out of their teeny-tiny settings.  I've had zero bad luck with the ring so far (KNOCK ON WOOD!), but I feel like it's only a matter of time before I tweak the ring and then mess the whole thing up.

Also, I'm afraid that in a couple of years I may want to get knocked up and then the ring won't fit again and I'll be wishing it was bigger.  Anybody had their rings resized twice?  Smaller and then larger again?  I also think that once I get the band in there, it'll feel tighter cause there will be two rings instead of one.

So, rings.  Tell me your stories of fat and skinny and fat fingers.  Need to know.


Bridesmaids dresses.  Today is 200 days till the wedding and we still haven't ordered them.  I have a specific reason for this, although it's kinda similar to laziness - it's also due to a little bump that may be showing up under one of the dresses.

Number 1:  anyone ever been a preggo bridesmaid?  Did you hate the bride by the wedding day?  As in, who the shit cares about your damn veil, I'm growing a human here type drama?  Not gonna lie, I'm the bride and I kind of feel this way.

Number 2:  did you try to match the style of your dress to the style of the bridesmaids dresses?  As in - my dress is very vintage, so my dresses should be too?  I'm not really sure what the "style" of my dress is.  I can't find many if any pictures of it used in "real" weddings.  I've got myself fixated on a style of bridesmaid dresses (Alfred Sung dresses), but I am just totally overwhelmed.  Can I lock all the maids in a room and tell them to just figure it out?  I'm compassionate that way.

Also, I'm really into this blue color (it's my signature color), but I feel like it's so picky and specific... maybe I should just go with navy or black?  Especially since one of the maids may need some last-minute alterations for un petit baby bump.

Ok guys.

Engagement ring sizing.  Preggo bridesmaids.  Bridesmaid dress colors and styles.

All I want is everything.  Tell me not to make the same mistakes as you made.

Please and thank you. 

22 Classy Comments:

La Saloperie said...

Resize your engagement ring, just make sure the jeweler is good. A good jeweler will make sure the little diamonds don't start falling out.

As for the dresses, I say keep your color! And just pick one that has a high waist and a flared bottom (like a couple of the examples). That way, hopefully your preggo friend won't actually have to get it adjusted too much and ALL the bridesmaids can gorge on the delicious food without worrying about that food baby showing too much.


K said...

As for the engagement ring, if you have a skilled jeweler, nothing is a problem. And I've shut mine in a door before and it was fine. I'd just get it checked maybe once a year to make sure everything is tight.

I had two bridesmaids that were pregnant when we picked dresses, but had the babies a couple months before the wedding. They just ordered a size or so up. It cost them in alterations, but at least they had a dress that fit.

Jessica said...

Stay with the blue color if that's what you love and let your bridesmaids choose which style of dress they would like to wear, that way everyone (including the preggos) will have something that flatters their body type.

Jess said...

When it comes to the ring, I say don't resize. They have inserts you can add to make it a little more snug on your finger if you want to try that route, it's much less permanent. Also as you mentioned your wedding band might take care of the problem and there would be no need to resize.

When it comes to bridesmaids dresses I don't think you necessarily have to match their dresses to the style of yours. For our bridesmaids I just chose the same type of fabric as my dress so I felt it all tied together, even though each girl chose a different style of dress to flatter their own figure. I think this route works out well for everyone because then your prego friend can choose an empire waist dress to accommodate any size bump :) As far as the color, if it's your fave then I say definitely use it- it's beautiful! Best of luck with planning!

Jessica @ The Budget Savvy Bride

jaime said...

I had my ring resized (smaller) when I first got it. When I got pregnant, it fit until about 8 weeks before the baby was born. I was able to wear it again (comfortably) a week after he arrived, and it's been fine ever since.

My friend had a pregnant bridesmaid in her wedding - the baby was born days after the wedding. All worked out and they're still friends. :)

Cheerful Homemaker said...

I've had my ring resized twice. Your ring comes in size 4.5, so I'm guessing you can go down in size without worrying about the diamonds falling out. Did you take it to Kay to be resized or a real jeweler? They nearly ripped the setting off of my engagement ring and my mom's jeweler ended up repairing it (Kay's customer service isn't the best).

Have you thought about letting the bridesmaids choose wear different dresses? Everyone (including mama-to-be) can get something that flatters their body type.

KatiePerk said...

I resized my ring because it was too large. I wore my rings up until I was like 33 weeks pregnant, and then they got too tight. After the baby, they fit again about 2 weeks later. A good jeweler can advise you on resizing vs. waiting...

I have had a lot of pregs friends be bridesmaids in weddings. It works out! Just remember she is growing a human! I say let them choose their dress. I love that blue color.

Jamie said...

My ring has small diamonds and its been resized twice. What does your band look like? I had double bands and it made my ring ALOT tighter. Technically I guess it's been resized three times. Once just my engagement ring and twice with the bands. The only probably I've ever had is my large diamond coming loose and it was totally my fault!!! Get jewelry insurance! It's preset inexpensive especially considering what it covered.

My matron of honor was pregnant and I mean PREGNANT. She found out after we ordered dresses. The line our dresses were from also carried a maternity line. I let her pick a dress from that line that was the same color as the others. The others were strapless and gathered at the waste there is no way she would have been comfortable. It didn't look off and it worked as her being the MOH as well

Erica Conwell said...

Words of advice... stay clear of Alfred Sung dresses unless all of your girls are a size 0. I was obsessed with his clean styles and wanted something similar for my girls. I tried on the dress I liked the most b/c all of my bridesmaids live in a different state. They are not flattering at all. I'm a size 6 and the dress made me look 20 pounds heavier. Maybe you will have better luck than I did.

Meg @ write meg! said...

My ring was two sizes too big when Spencer proposed, and I was so scared to have it resized -- mostly because my weight has been fluctuating (and will hopefully continue to go down!). I have a similar style with small diamonds along the sides, and I haven't had a problem with them falling out since resizing it two months ago. I actually have small hands/fingers, and I thought about just waiting until I had my wedding band to make it more secure... but that was making me paranoid. Resize it! And if you have to resize it again down the road, so be it. (Or just wear your wedding band during pregnancy? That's sort of my plan!)

In terms of bridesmaids dresses, I'm in a similar boat! My dress is vintage ivory and tea-length (I need to email you a pic!), and that's definitely not the norm. Finding tea-length dresses for the girls is proving interesting... not impossible, but interesting! I think I'm going to ask them to choose whatever they like, provided it's the same color and length (either long or short... haven't decided yet!).

Argh, so many decisions!

Tess said...

Ok two very insightful thoughts here:

1. My engagement ring is just a little bit too loose too. I don't want to get mine re-sized either, mainly because I don't want to give it up, so I'm getting my wedding band a size smaller so that it can lock my engagement ring in place. And if I get fatter fingers in the future, I'd only have to resize the wedding band.

2. I was lucky enough to be able to try on my wedding dress and have one of my sisters try on the bridesmaid dress at the same time. Standing next to each other, I realized FAST, that I did not like the matching sweetheart neck lines. It looked a little too matchy matchy, so we decided to have the bridesmaids dresses made with a straight across line.

the girl in the red shoes said...

My rings are slightly too big too, and I never had them resized...and that is totally the secret to rocking your rings while pregnant! But now that my hand is back to normal the big rings are driving me nuts! So I say, get it fixed now or get your wedding band in the right size so that it locks your engagement ring in.

Sara Cate said...

I've had my ring resized twice in the beginning (first it was too big, then too small!). I had it done by a well established jeweler and it is fine.

I am 34 weeks pregnant now and my rings still fit great. Don't re-size or not based on what you think you might need in pregnancy!

Also, I had Alfred Sung bridesmaid dresses at my wedding and thought they turned out great! http://www.sincerelysaracate.com/2010/09/blissfully-wedded-anticipation-and.html

Laura C said...

I feel ya on the ring. I have had the hardest time trying to figure out the right size for my engagement ring too. I have skinny fingers (my ring is a size 4) but decent size knuckles... so if I'm slipping it on and off a lot my knuckle gets really irritated/ inflamed (lovely). To make matters worst, my fingers swell a lot each night/ a get even skinnier when I'm cold. Add in a night of drinking/ or a salty meal and my fingers turn in to sausages the next day. HOWEVER my ring is top heavy/ really thin band so if it's loose it spins a lot...
All of this to say, I've had it sized a few times and it's a work in progress. If you are comfortable and don't feel like it's at a risk of sliding off (gasp), I might leave well enough alone but if you would feel more comfortable with it tighter- a good jeweler can resize it no problem. I do think the band helps it stay in place a bit. Have you decided what you are going to do for a wedding band? BTW your ring is gorgeous!

Madelyn Sue said...

I was 8 months pregnant when I was the maid of honor for my best friend's wedding. I'm not going to lie, I hated every second of it. The dress we picked (she was very cool about letting me help pick the dress) didn't come in "maternity", they just recommended ordering 3 sizes up. And that's how I ended up waddling around in a SIZE 20 dress that day. Ugh. It looked awful. It wasn't the dress, there was no way I could have felt cute at 8 months pregnant in a formal dress. Just remember that no matter how pregnant she is going to be, she will be tired that day, possibly nauseous, her feet will hurt, she'll be sweaty....don't take offense if she kind of looks like she wants to go home and go to bed!

Erin O. said...

Find a good jeweler. And you as well as Tess mentioned wearing a band on the other side to lock in the ring if it is to big. The wedding band goes closest to your heart and the engagement ring goes further out. Just FYI. So if the engement ring is to loose, you should get it resized or it might fall off.

mangovino said...

Your ring is gorgeous - no wonder you are missing it! I forgot to wear mine the other day and was freaking out all day so I can sympathize.

I love the blue color and would definitely keep it!!! Especially since you refer to it as your signature color.

I have 206 days til the wedding and haven't ordered mine yet either and I don't even have a dress so you are better off than me!!

Crystal @EatDrinkClev

Elizabeth said...

I have little diamonds on the side of my ring, too, and my jeweler said that little adjustments here and there are fine. Mine was too big when I got it, and I had it sized down. It's just fine! Regardless of what you choose, it is always a good idea to have the setting check yearly or so from what I've been told. :)

As for the bridesmaid dresses, I would do exactly what YOU want! Go for the color you LOVE! Why not? It is your wedding and if they make you happy then you should absolutely go for it! I can't be of much help when it comes to a pregnant bridesmaid, but I feel certain everything will work out just fine.

Oh, and Alfred Sung is FAB- My girls are wearing Alfred Sung dresses and I'm obsessed with almost all of his designs! I will say though... make sure you visit a store that carries his dresses and look at the swatches in real life (or see if you can order swatch samples online if you can't make it into a store). Some of his colors/fabrics look VERY different than they do online (I actually picked different colors than I originally planned because the "real life" samples looked SO different.

Kate G said...

I would pick the fabric/color and let your bridesmaids pick whatever style they like best and is most flattering to them. I was a allowed to do this w/a JCrew bridesmaid dress years ago and I can still wear it. That's pretty great when you're spending $200.
Don't sweat your preggers friend. It's a happy problem. My maid of honor had an emergency double mastectomy the week before my wedding and we had to figure out where to put the drainage tube without it showing. Things could be worse. :)
It'll all be great--promise.

sarah said...

They were able to out two little "speed bump" type things inside of my ring that can be removed if my fingers get bigger. My jeweler recommended that instead of totally resizing.

A. said...

Regarding the rings, have your jeweler put in "shots." They are little metal balls that sit on the inside of the band and will make the ring fit better. They won't damage the ring or setting and will be easily removed/put back in if needed. Only you will know they are there too. Simple, cheap and easy! I had them done on my engagement ring. You shouldn't resize a ring more than twice (or so I've heard).

erin said...

get the ring resized! i was able to wear my ring my entire pregnancy so it's not guaranteed that your fingers will swell! just have a due date in the winter ;)

i don't know about preggo bridesmaids, but i would just make sure they're on board with whatever style you pick.

as for the bridesmaid dresses i let mine pick what they liked with the only stipulation being that their choice wasn't a halter style since that's what my dress was. i would think you'd want them to look different from you, but that's your call.

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