Last night, my phone rang just after 10:30 pm. This usually means one of two things. 1) Something's going on at work or 2) Somebody got engaged.
The last time this happened, January 2011, I let the phone go to voicemail because I was in the other room and figured it was work calling. Mr. RH and I went to the wedding in August.
Since I was the last one at work yesterday, I knew that someone had gotten engaged. Three years ago, my college girlfriends and I graduated from college.
Fast forward 3 years. I haven't seen any of my college friends since August (um, ok, maybe I have. Twice.), and haven't talked to anyone one the phone in months. I've been trying to make a phone date with one friend for over a month - pathetic.
And now, my friend (center in the pic below) (I'm on the right) is engaged to a guy I've met just a few times.
Can't say a bad thing about him... but then again, I can barely say anything about him.
And then there's me, madly in love with a guy my friends have met once.
This inevitable growing-up stuff is hard. My friend (who just got engaged) had bugged me all last year about coming to visit her new life in DC... and I just couldn't or wouldn't make the time for it (plus, it was expensive and spending money on plane tickets is hard).
And now, everything's different.
I know that friends grow up and grow on, but sometimes... it's a little bit hard to swallow when it's YOUR friendships that are growing away from each other. I still love my girls to the end of the moon and back... but there's no denying that things have changed.
And as excited as I am for a big, exciting wedding and for a bunch of chances to see my friends because of said wedding... a part of me is a little sad today. Growing up is hard.
And I really miss my friends.
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14 Classy Comments:
Oh dear goodness darling! I know how that feels!!! I've been struggling with friendships that have been growing a part as well! But the way I see it is I have my best friend in my husband and thats all I need! Cheer up sweetheart! It's not a bad thing, like you said its just growing up!! xoxo!
I 100% know how you feel. Ashleigh, my bestie, and I have lived 1,000 miles from each other for over ten years. I had only met her significant other once before I was their Matron of Honor this past April. We do keep in very close touch as we're like sisers, so we're emailing and texting and calling each other constantly. But it's still hard. I know what you're feeling and going through. xoxo
Awww honey I totally get how you feel. Growing up and apart is hard. But your real friends will always be there for you, no matter how often you get to see them!
I've so been there. It's tough to think that back in college I just so easily assumed that I'd be great friends with my girlfriends' husbands and we'd all take vacations together each summer and let our kids run wild on the beach. But when you don't have a history with the new fiance/husband, it definitely takes time to build that up. And it may never happen. Just one of those things, I guess!
Congrats to your friend! Also, DC visits are awesome and you should come.
I feel ya girlie, it's hard growing up and losing touch it seems like everyone goes their own way. But just do the best you can to stay in touch! I love seeing my bffs and picking up right where we left off!
As several others have already attested, we've all been there (and are currently there!). For me, it's moved beyond the "all my friends are getting married!" phase and is not "all my friends are pregnant!", which I'll admit: not really fun.
Considering I'm also madly in love but only dating my guy, I feel like a huge gulf has opened between my friends and myself. Things are definitely different. I keep reminding them (and myself) that we're all "in transition," meaning things are switching up constantly but will settle eventually.
When I feel down that I'm somehow "behind" everyone (and I've stopped checking Facebook in general to help with some of those feelings), I remind myself of that transition -- and to just enjoy my life as it is now. It's definitely hard when friendships change... ugh. But I'm sure things will smooth out and develop a new normal!
It would appear this happens to us all! Don't get too disheartened, the college-year friendships always have a door open to pick up where you left off, it seems to me.
I spend quite a bit of time feeling guilty about my terrible maintenance of my friendships: growing apart is natural but being lazy really is my own fault. So thank you for the timely reminder to call my girls! Hope you feel better soon.
Congratulations to your friend! That is so exciting! I know how you feel though. It seems like everyone is starting to go in so many different directions. I'm sure you will have a great time catching up with everyone at the wedding though!
Those phone calls/Facebook messages/etc are sometimes really hard to take. :(
oh, but the flip side is that your time together will be even more precious when you have to make time in your schedule aside from work/family/children. I have a group of friends from college and we are going on 20 years+ of beach trips. I look so forward to it every year. Enjoy every season of female friendship. It is a treasure!!
i had the same thing happen with work-friends-turned-besties. they both moved to different places, and we only see each other maybe once a year. now, one of them is having a baby and when we got together last month, we had fun but we all sort of realized it won't ever be like it used to be.
it's okay to grieve the loss of the relationships you had, and then embrace the new forms they take!
Growing up and away from friends from college is one of the hardest things I've gone through. I've finally started to find my way with some wonderful women I've gotten to know since I started working, and that has been helpful, but it still hurts to miss the "gang" and not be there for each other like we dreamed. Sending thoughts your way!
It's tough when your lives go in different directions. My closest friend from college is career-driven, single, and has no desire to have children. Ever. I, on the other hand, am a stay-at-home-mom whose greatest joy is seeing my son smile. Our phone calls have been less frequent over the last four years. She came to visit for the first time in 3 years in January and I haven't heard from her since. :-/ It stinks.
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