Monday, August 29, 2011

Slightly Underwater

So, I feel like the seas are a bit rough around here right now. Which is weird, because Indiana HAS NO OCEANS.

I know, weird.

I've been feeling super-overwhelmed lately. I think that sliding Mr. RH into my already-packed life and trying to keep moving at the same pace is finally kicking my ass.

I just want to do everything perfectly, you know?

I want to be a runner, but I keep falling off the bandwagon.

I have been on a semi-healthy-eating kick for months, and I let the guilt build up if I don't make up a bunch of meals to take to work for lunch or if I have a day off and don't get a bunch of cooking done.

I spend SO much money on healthy veggies at the grocery store but am so exhausted that half of them go bad waiting for me to eat them.

I want to badly to be the perfect girlfriend to Mr. RH that I drop everything to make time for him and constantly decline him when he tries to help me get anything done.

I want so badly to be the perfect friend to my friends that even spending time with Mr. RH makes me feel like I am abandoning them, especially if one of them is going through man-drama of her own.

And on and on and on. Swear to goodness, this post could go on for 20 pages.

And I know, EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET feels the same way.

Pretty sure I should never have a child because I am pretty positive the mommy guilt would actually kill me dead.

I have spent most of today crying and of course Mr. RH couldn't be more concerned. He probably thinks I am about to jump off a cliff when in actuality... eh, this just happens sometimes. Too much pressure inside and my tear ducts explode!

And just when I think I've got him all off to work and a whole night to myself to be miserable.... a text:

"Hang in there. You's strong, you's kind, you's important.... and most of all you's loved."

(Needless to say, we both read and then watched The Help. LOVE IT.)

And then I cry all over again. Happy tears this time.

15 Classy Comments:

Aly said...

You are not alone. We all go through times like this. You're lucky to have a great guy by your side- he sounds amazing!

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

Aww, he knows what to say to make you feel better!

Anonymous said...

It does seem like we're all feeling this way today for some reason? Moon? Hormones? Who knows but I hear you.

Tomorrow is a new day :)


Clemson Girl said...

So sweet that he knew just what to say.

Carolina Belle said...

WHAT A MAN!!! I just saw that movie last night and it was amazing! He is to sweet. Hang in there girl! This too shall pass. :)

Impulsive Addict said...

You poor sweet girl! It's ok to feel this way on occasion. I bet you have super awesome understanding friends and it sounds like you have one heck of a boyfriend!

I hope the rest of the week gets better!

etta said...

Deep breaths. Glass(es) of wine. Put down the computer. Turn off the cell phone. Realize that you can't be 100% there for everyone at the same time AND neglect yourself. Sometimes you have to put yourself first.

Anonymous said...

You're not alone, we all have these kinds of days! Hope you've gotten through the day okay and that tomorrow is full of sunshine for you!

Allison said...

You're so sweet and put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect. (Don't we all?!)Your man sounds so understanding and loving. Enjoy your life, be happy, be in love, forget all the stupid details.

GeekGoddess said...

Yeah. I needed to read this. I made a huge SCREWUP at work which resulted because I had to be somewhere else which cause a co-worker to snap at me. And I should clean but I'm too tired. Not to make this about me...but we're all in the same boat. Take a deep breath...and go kiss that boy.

Sunni Dae said...

Hang in there! :)

Leslie said...

Maybe Mr RH could come and keep you company and drink wine with you while you make those meals for work? You could put him to work chopping vegetables and still spend time together that way. Or could you include him with some of your friend activities? I guess what I am saying is... instead of trying to make room for him, why not include him? Can he run with you? Bike with you while you run? Drive along slowly blasting his radio and cheering?

Meg said...

Oh, guilt is my constant companion. I wish I could fit my friends, family and boyfriend all into the same frame so I wouldn't ever feel like I was "abandoning" anyone. Balance is so hard to achieve -- and something I struggle with daily... just remember to still make time for yourself, too! (And I never do, but don't be like me!)

Kristin said...

Hang in there lady. I've been treading water myself. This too shall pass!

Adie said...

I am the same way about letting so much build up and wanting to do things a certain way and meet everyone's expectations and then crumbling from the stress. A good cry always helps.

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