Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Shoppers' Stress

I've seen it at work and I've certainly seen it in my own life... so I thought that I should warn you all of the symptoms of Shoppers' Stress. Cause it's only 17 days till Christmas and you only have 3,543 people left to buy for.

The Signs & Symptoms of Shoppers' Stress
  1. Strong desire to eat inhale something covered in icing (a la Cinnabon) or smothered in cheese. Or Chinese food... mmm.
  2. The urge to rip off one's coat in the middle of whatever store you're in because it's hot and you're tired and cranky and these bags weigh too much.
  3. The desire to sell one's children on the black market. In fact, you'll pretty much offer them up to anyone who says they're cute.
  4. Lying to people about their "cute" children. They're all terrorists screaming "I want..." at the top of their lungs this time of year.
  5. And then the Santa threats come. "Look who's watching..."
  6. And last, but certainly not least, the desire to just give up and surrender to the shopping gods and just buy gift cards for everyone on your list. Because really, who doesn't prefer those over an airbrushed t-shirt or candied nuts?
If you or your loved ones start to succumb to these symptoms... please don't call 911. Instead, hurry home to eat raw cookie dough while watching old Christmas movie marathons. Symptoms should vanish within 24 hours of leaving the mall.

Happy Christmas Season!!

13 Classy Comments:

Jes said...

thanks for reminding me why I'm glad to:
1. be done Christmas shopping and
2. be living in a country that doesn't celebrate the holiday!

The Branches said...

ha..ha...ha..this cracked me up! You are so goofy! I am going to HAVE to do gift cards b/c I can't pack gifts on a plane. I am not paying to check more luggage and I'm flying home with limited suitcase space....so I am one of those people....oh well...here I come cookie dough......:P

Ashley said...

Is it a problem that #1 is a year-round issue for me? I thought so... And I TOTALLY concur with #2. That is what I hate most about shopping this time of year. You have to bring a coat bc it's freezing outside, but in the stores, I sweat my behind off! Then I get all flustered and angry and it's over.

Sweet Simplicity said...

This is so cute! And true!

Sarahviz said...

This is PERFECT (and describes my life completely right now...)

Meg said...

I've gotten to the point that, no matter how freezing cold it is outside, I absolutely will not wear a coat inside a store... you're so right: when that urge to tear my jacket off happens, I may or may not take out small children and store displays as collateral damage. I can't stand being hot!

Sarah (Oh Pretty Day) said...

I definitely am drawn to the food court and the Auntie Annie's pretzel stand every time I go to the mall! Shopping wears me out and ups my appetite! I also hate when I wear my coat inside the mall and then get really hot and there's nothing you can do!

The Wife In Her New Life said...

LOVE this post! The remedy sounds like the perfect ending to just about any day =)

MrsDixon said...

You are so right on!!!

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Allison said...

Ha! so glad that I'm not one of those ppl! Definitely no stress here in that dept.

d.a.r. said...

Ahhh the beauty of internet shopping :) No need to deal with the crazies, haha.

Seriously though, there isn't decent shopping within three hours of me. I get the shakes because I am withdrawing so bad!

Anonymous said...

I did almost all of my Xmas shopping this year online. Plus you get eBates!

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