Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Universe? Not funny. At all.

So, I'm afraid of birds.

We have a long and sordid past together.... and they scare the crap out of me.

When I'm driving and birds swoop in front of my car? I just about crash.

Let's just say you're all lucky you don't commute in central Indiana... cause watch out! Sarah's on the loose and there are birds EVERYWHERE.

So, lately, a robin has been building a nest right where I park my car. Not ok.

So my daddy (love him) has been pulling it down every single night. For a couple weeks now.

That's an unhappy birdie right there.

Also, I believe, this same bird is repeatedly dive-bombing itself into our front window. At high rates of speed.

Thankfully, I don't hang out in the front room much but about 5 times per day, I hear the telltale THUD of a bird smacking into the window. For a while there was a mirror hanging on the wall opposite the window... but I took it down. And they're still running into the window. WTF?!?!??!?!?

Long story short, I'm pissing off the birds.

And in return?

They are sh*tting on my life.

Passenger side of my car.

Driver Side of my car.

I spent an hour and a half in my car every single day. And this is NOT what I like to see when I look out my windows.

It on bitches.

(And gah, I really really hate birds. They're so creepy and gross!!! BARF BARF BARF!)

Hope your Tuesday is better than mine is :)

22 Classy Comments:

PinkSass said...

Dude...you can not reason with birds so I share in your fear.

They are just irrational and freak me out like no other.

Their beady little eyes and sharp beaks....(shutter)

Happy Dash said...

I have a terrible fear of birds. We have two bird nests over our porch and I refuse to go out there until my husband scares the mama birds away.

Brittany said...

Lol birds are pretty gross. And can't they find a BETTER place to do their business, other then our cars?!

Sorority Girl said...

I am totally afraid of birds too! When I tell people that, they laugh at me. They make me mad too so I feel ya there. I hope the day turns up!

Whitney said...

Eeew! I hate birds too! Have you ever seen the movie "Birds"... CREEEEEPY!

the girl in the red shoes said...

Ah....I hate birds too! They creep me out with their gawking, chirping, and pooping!

Sweet Simplicity said...


Sweet Simplicity said...

Oh yeah and that Birds movie is the freakiest movie ever. I don't think you could handle it. Don't watch it. :)

Patriotic Princess said...

Boo to birds. I live in Indiana too and they are everywhere. Haha, but I do hope they leave you alone.


Lucky in Love said...

Oh I hate birds too!! They are my biggest fear in the entire world!!

One built a nest on our back porch light last year...had babies...and then the mama bird tried to attack my husband whenever he went outside. I FREAKED!

And remained indoors until the babies were gone.

MrsDixon said...

You poor thing! You better make sure those birdies don't poo on YOU!!! Check out the March section on my blog- The Birds Part 2...I too hate birds!!!

koitheawesome said...

I have a friend who is also scared of birds.

Personally, i have been having trouble with cats! My car window is broken and won't roll up (stupid ass automatic windows!), and so sometimes my mom's cats will sneak in there and pee. D=


designHER Momma said...

I had the exact terradactyl poo on my car just yesterday. I will get him for the both of us!

Haley Stafford said...

I have never laughed so hard! I feel your pain. I read your link to your previous post and was laughing so hard. I hate birds... One practically flew up in my face this weekend and I SCREAMED. My poor boyfriend thought I hurt myself and came running...his heart was out of his chest...and he looked at me like I was stupid when I told him that the bird flew up in my face! I hate their poop on my car and I HATE HATE HATE large birds: geese, roosters, swans, etc.

Allison said...

I've been freaked out ever since that Alfred Hitchcock movie! Birds can be evil!

etta said...

I'm so glad that I park in the garage :)

Life of a Doctor's Wife said...

I totally hate birds, too! When I was in college, my dorm had a fireplace that was closed off from the room. But even though it was closed, a bird still managed to fall down the chimney and thrash around inside the fireplace for days until it expired. It sounded like a giant raven or buzzard or something huge. Turns out it was a tiny little soot-covered sparrow. But the whole incident traumatized me greatly.

kLl said...

My lil sis (as in my sorority lil sis, no real life sisters here, just stinky brothers) is afraid of chickens. No other birds. Just chickens.

The Random Blogette said...

OMG! When we moved into our house the birds had busted a hole in our siding, so we filled it in with foam. They started trying to pull the foam out but that did not work. So then they went to the other side of our house and managed to pull some of the siding down and get into it and they were practically living in our walls. So one day the hubs and my neighbor got out an extension ladder and decided to fix the siding. They tried to get all of the birds out without getting killed, but one got stuck. I swear the thing was the Chuck Norris version of birds and that damn thing got out. And now the birds are shitting all over our cars and still trying to pull the siding down. I hate birds!

Marketing Gurl said...

Not afraid of birds but they are dirty little things...I got pooped on in high school on a high school trip...I cried...I was upset about other random HS stuff that day...Love, MG

Mindy said...

Wow, a lot of people are afraid of birds in your comments!
The birds must know you don't like them... lol. I feel sad when they hit our windows and get hurt. They do it all the time in the winter. :(

Kate said...

Eww I hate birds too! I used to be really scared of them but I think I'm getting better. However, there is this flock of turkey vultures that sometimes hangs out in my hometown... GROSSEST. ANIMALS. EVER. They're my worst nightmare come true.

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