Monday, November 2, 2009

A Serious Post About Shopping

The title of this post made you confused - right? I mean, how serious can shopping be - right?


A couple of weeks ago when I told you guys to "Ask Me Anything," a few of you asked me about fall fashion or fall clothes.

And I wanted to answer. I love fall, and I love fall clothes. But for some reason... let's just say that the cat got my tongue. I felt like I had nothing to say.

So what's this all about? It's about my mom.

Since I was about 13 years old, my mom and I fought. We were so similar that we clashed on a lot of things.

But there was one thing that brought us together: shopping, and clothes.

Depending on the time of year, we would get up early on Saturday morning, put on our comfortable shoes, and head into Indianapolis for a day of shopping. It was "our thing." We sometimes had a plan of attack - buying Christmas or birthday gifts - and sometimes we just wandered.

It was my favorite. Friends would invite me to spend the night on Friday nights and I always hesitated - because I knew that my friends would sleep past noon and I would wake at 8 am and want to run out the door to get my shop on.

We didn't always buy much - in fact, sometimes all we bought was lunch. We always had bourbon chicken from a Chinese restaurant - and we split it.

I got some of my favorite things on those trips - a powder blue tweed coat, my favorite black pumps, and all of my prom and formal dresses. And, of course, since I was her daughter, my mom paid for a ton of these clothes - even when I was in college and should have been paying for my own clothes.

If there was no reason to buy me clothes and we found something really awesome, she would buy it and save it for my birthday or Christmas. In fact, that was how I "made a Christmas list" - we just went to the mall and picked out what I wanted. Christmas shopping complete.

So, that brings us to today. My mom's not here anymore and, though I still like shopping, it's different now. I have the hardest time shopping.

I don't shop well with my friends - their issues distract me from looking for myself. Either they're too broke to spend money or they really need X, Y, or Z for tonight... I just can't focus on me.

It's different now. If you see me at the mall today - I'll be wearing flip-flops. Why? Because I have a hard time finding comfortable shoes I like. Because my mom would have been the one to push me to buy something warm for my feet. Because my mom would have spent the money she would have set aside for herself making sure I had shoes that I could not only walk in but be comfortable and cute in.

When I went to write a post about fall fashion, I realized that my closet is seriously lacking. I could have gone to a bunch of store websites and pulled out some of my "fall picks," but I always prefer posting real-life pictures. It brings the clothes to life when I can see them on a a real person's body.

So there you have it. The truth. I love clothes, and I love shopping. But, today, shopping for myself is different. It feels selfish, not practical. I feel badly for spending money - even when it's my own, hard earned money.

I don't feel badly about not having the nicest or the newest clothes. I don't even particularly mind not having the best shoes for the weather.

I just miss my mom.

So today, I'm heading out to the malls. Hopefully I have some luck... and of course, I'll share anything that I do find.

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P.S. I wrote about potentially ditching ditching my beloved Nars Orgasm blush today at Chic Critique.

23 Classy Comments:

Classy in Philadelphia said...

This was a really sweet post. I know exactly what you mean, because I feel the same way about shopping with my mom.

I know it must be hard for you now, but try to have fun shopping today! I hope you find some cute things.

Prissy Southern Prep said...

I know what you mean about shopping with your Mom. I will go to the mall with friends or other family members, but I really only enjoy shopping with my Mom. It is our "thing." I cherish my Mom, but this post definitely makes me thankful that I still have her. I am so fortunate. I am so sorry that you're Mom is no longer here, but I will keep you in my prayers. At least you have wonderful memories of her. {hugs to you}!

Jackie said...


Heather said...

I loved reading your thoughts and sharing your heart. Such a sweet post and thanks for sharing this.

gigiofca said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and a part of your heart with us. It's quite a special post & well written. I shop alone or with my mom. It almost feels like a waste of time when I go with other people. I can relate to the feelings you expressed. Perhaps you can create a new mall ritual for yourself. One that honors your mom in the process. Have that chicken by yourself and take the other half home for later. Or find a new restaurant you think she might have liked. My aunt passed and when we shop, my mom and I always talk about the stores she liked or point to the flamboyant things my aunt would have loved. It keeps her close to us in the moment.

Kristin said...

I'm so so sorry. I hope you feel her spirit with you as you try to enjoy shopping again!

Brunch at Saks said...

This post gave me chills because my Mom passed away unexpectedly 2 years ago and now there is nothing more that I wouldn't give to just go shopping with her.

Thank you for allowing me to remember the sweet moments with my Mom- your post made my day :) XOXO

Southern Belle said...

Aw Sarah, *HUGS*, sometimes, we all need one even if they're given via internet!

Mindy said...

Just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you. I lost my Dad 3 months ago (he had cancer for 2 years) and it's something I wish that no one had to experience.

I hope you find lots of good things at the mall today.

Anonymous said...

What a great post, Sarah. I understand how you feel about shopping as a mother/daughter bonding experience. Growing up, my mom and I shopped together all the time. It was our 'quality time'. My mom is still living, but my relationship with her had changed a lot and I so miss those happy, carefree days together.

I hope you have a lovely day and I'm excited to hear what you thought of Anthropologie! :)

Loving life in Southern California! said...

Awwweee...I hope you feel better! Maybe you need some retail therapy. Good luck. Nice blog - following you now!

etta said...

I know how you feel about shopping not being fun. I am in desperate need of new clothes, but can't bring myself to spend the money. This time of year, I tell myself that I should save it for Christmas. I have no problem spending money on other people. I have a shopping bag filled with clothes for my nephew.

for the love said...

I'm so sorry you're missing your mom. I hope being at the mall reminds you of many happy memories with her and that you're able to enjoy it again.

Anonymous said...

That was a very sweet, sentimental post. I hope you enjoyed your trip today and that it brought you closer to your mom. I can only imagine how difficult it must be and hope you are alright.

Katelyn said...

I so enjoy your writing. Thanks for being so honest. It made me really think and it is seriously hard for me to shop with anyone but my mom. I cant imagine. Hope you have a good week!

Little Miss Diva said...

That was such a sweet post! I cherish the times spent shopping with my mom and sister. It sounds like your Mom was similar to my Mom as she still wants to buy me comfortable shoes and all that too.

Brittany said...

So sorry about your mom, your post tugged on my heart strings! I feel much the same shopping with my mom. But if you ever want a shopping buddy, let me know! :)

Phyllis Bourne said...

Sorry about your mom, hon.

Some of my best childhood memories are shopping with mine. Sometimes when she noticed our stuff had gotten ratty, she'd take us for new outfits.

We'd try them on, and she'd say leave 'em on. Then she'd cut the tags off and take them to the cash register.

I'm probably old enough to be your mom. So whenever you wanna shop, just holler!

Melissa said...

This post actually made me tear up a bit, because I can see what you mean. I'm sorry your moms not here- I can't imagine how hard that must be.

Sherrie said...

I'm so sorry that your mom is not around to shop with you anymore. My mom and I love to shop together so I know what you mean. Sending you lots of hugs. I wish I lived near you because I would go shopping with you.

d.a.r. said...

What a touching post. I'm so sorry she isn't around to go shop and eat bourbon chicken with anymore, but wow...what special memories. Cherish them, and I hope you found some luck at the mall.

d.a.r. said...

What a touching post. I'm so sorry she isn't around to go shop and eat bourbon chicken with anymore, but wow...what special memories. Cherish them, and I hope you found some luck at the mall.

Wearing Mascara said...

I am so sorry love. I know she meant a lot to you and I'm sure shopping just isn't the same. Although I bet in a weird way, she is with you. You're in my thoughts my friend.

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