Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday Favorite: An Ode to the Girls

I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it a thousand more: I'm kinda a boob expert. Or, rather, a bra expert.

I can spot a lumpy, misshapen bra at 50 paces. You, sitting at your computer in a sports bra you outgrew in high school? Yeah, I see you too.

I never intended to be the bra expert. I never even had boobs until my sophomore year of high school, and even then they weren't anything to write home about.

So that brings me to the topic of today's post: the bra.

You might need a new bra if:

  • your cup size is too small, giving you the impression of a 4-boob or the dreaded 6-boob. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you probably don't want to know.
  • your cup size is too big, giving you collapsing boobs
  • your band rides up in back, leading to the girls falling out the front
  • you have back fat issues, which is usually caused by a band that is too loose, NOT too big
  • if you buy bras that fit when using the the smallest hook

So what do you do if you find yourself in one of the situations above? Well, listen closely.

First, do not assume that your local Victoria's Secret has all the answers. Now, I love me some Victoria's Secret, I truly do - BUT they are not ALWAYS God's gift to the boob. Case in point: for years, my bra rode up in back, sagged in the front, and the straps inevitably fell down. I would head into VS for a bra fitting and they'd, without fail, push me into a 34B and try and send me on my way. I'd show them how it didn't fit, and they'd promise that it would 'grow to fit me.' Ahem. Grow to fit? I'm sorry, did my bra up and become a human baby that grows and needs changed? Um, no. Finally, one day I decided to STOP paying $45-55 bucks a pop for bras that didn't work. I found myself sitting in Nordstrom during one of their Semi-Annual sales. I wandered over and stammered to a sweet old lady bra-fitter about my problems and she told me not to worry and to wait in a fitting room. She showed up with some 34Cs and had me try them on (in front of her. naked. umm... can you say uncomfortable? but she was really old so in all honesty it wasn't that bad... just... i wanted to die at the time). So after about 15 minutes, I walked out of Nordstrom with some lovely DKNY and Calvin Klein bras in size 32D. D, people. As in, how in the hell did those VS girls think a B was going to fit? That's what I'm sayin.... Ok, now back to my rules.

Second, try on every bra. Try on different styles (full-coverage, t-shirt, demi cup, racerback) AND different sizes. When I went from 34C to 32D, hallelujah, it FIT! If at first you don't succeed, try try again.

Lastly, don't get caught up in the numbers and the letters. I know too many good women who walk around with lumpy, dumpy, misshapen boobs because they are too hung up on their numbers. Being a 32F does not make you dumb, and being a 34A does not make you unsexy. NOBODY (well, except for maybe me) can tell your size just by looking at you, so don't sweat it. Wear what looks (and feels) best. And know that bras don't have universal sizing, so you could have a host of different sizes in your wardrobe (I've got 34Cs, 32Ds, and 32DDs).

Ok, and now I have to tell you about my most amazing bra find. Recently, it seemed like all my elastic was shot and I was just ready for a new bra or two. So I went to Macy's which was famous in my mind for NEVER carrying size 32 bras. But lo and behold, I found this beauty.
Calvin Klein's Seductive Comfort Customized Lift Bra.

It's beautiful. Bralelujah! Now, go forth and evaluate your girls. E-mail me if you have questions. You can thank me later. Amen...

Happy Friday!! I may be pretty silent until next Saturday, when I have a HUGE project due.

11 Classy Comments:

sarah said...

Can we go bra shopping sometime? It's IMPOSSIBLE for me to find a bra. I've been told I'm really a 33 A&a half. A non existant size on all levels.

How did you know I was wearing a sports bra? Although it's new....

Kimberly said...

Vic's had me in a 38B. Apparently, I was wide with small boobs. After 2 years of this nonsense, I went to a small, unknown boutique and had to do the naked measuring/trying on business...I know your pain! Anyways, they told me I was way off in ym bar size - I am actually a 34D!! Ever since I got re-measured, got new, glorious bras that fit me so perfectly and comfortably that I don't feel like I have one on at all, my life has changed. To all women out there, Sarah is so right. Do exactly what she says, and it will change your life too!!!

Laurie said...

I was just bra shopping the other day, and I still feel like I came home in one that DOES NOT FIT right!
It occurred to me that I had not bought a new bra since 2003. My mom took me to get new bras when I was pregnant with the twins.. Maybe I was unable to let go of the bras since what happened. I don't know. They were great bras, but it was time for new ones and I still can NOT find one that has no underwire and fits me comfortably! Man I wish you lived closer.

The Ratcliffs said...

awesome post! VS did me wrong as well. Many, many times.

You are like the bra whisperer!

insomniaclolita said...

i found it hard to find perfect bras too, cuz my size is 34b but it feels loose when i wear it, although the shopkeeper told me its the right size..i want a good one, but not the ones that give me massive boobs / cleavage either..
confusing :)

Elle Bee said...

VS did me wrong, too. I was so excited when I was in Vegas to head to a VS (we don't have them in Canadaland), and I wanted to make sure I got the right size. I had been measured previously at a small boutique, and told I was a 34D but at VS the woman was trying to put me in a 40D. I argued and showed her how I could pinch the band together by at least an inch (it was oh so very loose) and she basically told me that she was the expert and I was not.

Natalie said...

i have never had a bra fitting in all my 39 years. shameful i know! i should totally do that though. as soon as i need new bras which shouldn't be long now i will go see what they say! but not at VS. you've scared me away from there for sure!

delizcious said...

you have just totally changed my life. I need to go get fitted now.

quarter-life lady. said...

Somewhere, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly are thanking you.

MaryT said...

Ok...this is awesome. Right this minute my bra is torturing me like NO ones business. ...

Sarah said...

VS did the same to me - thye tried to squish me in a 38C - I told the woman it didn't fit and she said no, it is supposed to do that. Supposed to squish out half of my boobs?? No thank you!!! Needless to say, I didn't buy the bra - or any bra from there.

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