Monday, March 28, 2011

Humiliation is a Dish Best Served Fresh

Sorry for the lack of posts lately... I've not been doing too well lately which has reduced me to tweeting out all the thoughts running through my brain. You're welcome, tweets.

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Yesterday was Sunday, which, for me, is a work day. I 'rise and shined' before 7 am to get ready for the day and was off to 9 am church before I started work at 10:30 am.

It was about 5 minutes into mass when I realized I was having a bit of an issue.

Wiggling and clenching and tugging ensued.

But no matter what I did, my underwear were driving me insane. Wiggle shimmy un-wedgie but in a nonchalant way so nobody knows I'm digging my underwear out of my crack.

Yeah, no dice.

So halfway through mass I decide that there is no way I can work all day on my feet like this - plus I had a bridal shower to attend after work.

So I swing by my neighborhood Target and grab the first $3 pair of undies I see (they are cute - pink with white polka dots!).

Shove them in my purse and off to work.

I get down to business and realize that it's almost time for my co-worker to stop by before the store opens - we had a few last minute bridal-shower details to discuss.

I run to grab my wallet and... oh, can you see where this is going?

Out come the lovely undies and I'm stammering with a way to explain that situation.

No, I swear I wasn't getting jiggy in the back office with my boyfriend (electronic or otherwise) and stashed my panties in my purse.

No, I swear I didn't poughkeepsie in my panties.

No, I swear I did not just go all 14-year-old-girl and start my period all over my girl pants.

So I had to flat out tell her I was having a wedgie situation and couldn't stand to be that uncomfortable all day.

Classy, especially since I'm her boss.

And then I proceeded to the bathroom where I tossed out a brand-new (minus 3 hours of wear) pair of Vickie's hipster panties in the trash.

And the kicker, it turns out, is that those panties I tossed are supremely awesome, as evidenced by the other new pair I pulled out of my drawer and put on this morning. (This style, if you must know.)

Turns out I just was wearing a pair 2 sizes too big yesterday.

Ooops.

Hey, what's life if you can't laugh at yourself.... right?

I mean, it's better than the alternative - being laughed at instead of being laughed with.

Happy Monday!

12 Classy Comments:

designHER Momma said...

I can totally relate to this. I typically pull out a tampon anytime I go digging for a pen in my purse.

R said...

I love that you're willing to admit this. Made my day. And don't worry, I've been there too. You try playing catcher for a softball team with your undies going any which way but where you want!

Lauren said...

Too funny!!!!!!! :)

the girl in the red shoes said...

Oh my word...I feel your pain! But thanks for making me laugh on a Monday!

stephanie said...

Oh my gosh, that is too funny!!

Thomasina said...

That's a great story! I guess if there's a lesson to be learned it's make sure your undies are the right size before wearing them lol.

Short, Sweet, and Petite said...

Haha this certainly made me laugh! It is definitely better to laugh at yourself than being laughed at by others. Just yesterday, I went to church with my cardigan INSIDE OUT, tags hanging out and all, and no one decided to tell me until I realized it myself. Embarrassing? Yes. Funny? Also yes.

melissa said...

Too funny! Yanking them out of my purse for all to see is so something I would have done too.

Kori said...

That is so me! I've gone to work with a bulge in the leg of my pants, wondering what it was, and turns out they were yesterday's underwear! Hope you had a great weekend doll! Kori xoxo

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d.a.r. said...

Hahahahahaha.

I went to the dry cleaner two weeks ago...she was sorting my clothes as I was filling out the paperwork and all of a sudden she handed me something turquoise and lacy and said "I'm not sure you meant to have us dry clean these...". Whoops! Ha!

Never mind the fact that there was a line of 3-4 people behind me....

etta said...

Underwear is SUCH a pain sometimes!

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

Oh dear. I have to admit, this made me laugh out loud!

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