Everybody Likes Talking About Bras, Right?

This morning, I woke up determined to try on this cute red bra I wore, um, *cough* six or so years ago.

I know, I am nuts, right? In the past six years, I have gained at least 20 pounds and a few cup sizes.

But when I woke up this morning, it didn't seem that important... I just wanted to wear the red bra.

Well, I didn't find the red bra. But you know what I did find?

18 bras. Eighteen. And I suppose I should mention at this point that I got rid of 4 bras on Friday (including the red bra I was looking for this morning-can you say space case?). I clearly have so many bras I can't even keep track of them.

So if you count the bras I just trashed, that means I had 22 bras. Twenty-two, the same as my age. One bra for every year of my life. Or something.

Which brings me to my point: I have too many bras. Sure, a bunch of them are useful and good and I love them. But others? Need to go.

Polka dot bras on the left - you are itchy.
Hot pink bra - you are too big.
Black lacy bra on the left - you have no purpose in life and are lumpy.
Bra with blue lace on the right - you are the most comfortable bra I have ever owned but your elastic is pretty much shot.

Do you have a lot of bras? Do you have this many? Do you unnecessarily hold onto bras that are a size too big or too small because you might grow or shrink? Because I never do that (liar!).

I am leaving these bras on my bedroom floor until I pare them down... the surplus bras just take up too much space and they don't even fit - so why am I keeping them around?

Share with me your bra problems... so I won't feel like such a clotheshorse brahorse(?).

Happy Monday!

P.S. I am showing everyone how to get the best performance out of their mascara over here. Go check it out.

Friday Favorite: An Ode to the Girls

I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it a thousand more: I'm kinda a boob expert. Or, rather, a bra expert.

I can spot a lumpy, misshapen bra at 50 paces. You, sitting at your computer in a sports bra you outgrew in high school? Yeah, I see you too.

I never intended to be the bra expert. I never even had boobs until my sophomore year of high school, and even then they weren't anything to write home about.

So that brings me to the topic of today's post: the bra.

You might need a new bra if:

• your cup size is too small, giving you the impression of a 4-boob or the dreaded 6-boob. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you probably don't want to know.
  
• your cup size is too big, giving you collapsing boobs
  
• your band rides up in back, leading to the girls falling out the front
  
• you have back fat issues, which is usually caused by a band that is too loose, NOT too big
  
• if you buy bras that fit when using the the smallest hook

So what do you do if you find yourself in one of the situations above? Well, listen closely.

First, do not assume that your local Victoria's Secret has all the answers. Now, I love me some Victoria's Secret, I truly do - BUT they are not ALWAYS God's gift to the boob. Case in point: for years, my bra rode up in back, sagged in the front, and the straps inevitably fell down. I would head into VS for a bra fitting and they'd, without fail, push me into a 34B and try and send me on my way. I'd show them how it didn't fit, and they'd promise that it would 'grow to fit me.' Ahem. Grow to fit? I'm sorry, did my bra up and become a human baby that grows and needs changed? Um, no. Finally, one day I decided to STOP paying $45-55 bucks a pop for bras that didn't work. I found myself sitting in Nordstrom during one of their Semi-Annual sales. I wandered over and stammered to a sweet old lady bra-fitter about my problems and she told me not to worry and to wait in a fitting room. She showed up with some 34Cs and had me try them on (in front of her. naked. umm... can you say uncomfortable? but she was really old so in all honesty it wasn't that bad... just... i wanted to die at the time). So after about 15 minutes, I walked out of Nordstrom with some lovely DKNY and Calvin Klein bras in size 32D. D, people. As in, how in the hell did those VS girls think a B was going to fit? That's what I'm sayin.... Ok, now back to my rules.

Second, try on every bra. Try on different styles (full-coverage, t-shirt, demi cup, racerback) AND different sizes. When I went from 34C to 32D, hallelujah, it FIT! If at first you don't succeed, try try again.

Lastly, don't get caught up in the numbers and the letters. I know too many good women who walk around with lumpy, dumpy, misshapen boobs because they are too hung up on their numbers. Being a 32F does not make you dumb, and being a 34A does not make you unsexy. NOBODY (well, except for maybe me) can tell your size just by looking at you, so don't sweat it. Wear what looks (and feels) best. And know that bras don't have universal sizing, so you could have a host of different sizes in your wardrobe (I've got 34Cs, 32Ds, and 32DDs).

Ok, and now I have to tell you about my most amazing bra find. Recently, it seemed like all my elastic was shot and I was just ready for a new bra or two. So I went to Macy's which was famous in my mind for NEVER carrying size 32 bras. But lo and behold, I found this beauty.
Calvin Klein's Seductive Comfort Customized Lift Bra.

It's beautiful. Bralelujah! Now, go forth and evaluate your girls. E-mail me if you have questions. You can thank me later. Amen...

Happy Friday!! I may be pretty silent until next Saturday, when I have a HUGE project due.