He Loves Me.

Ever since I swore up and down I'd stop it with the non-stop-Mr. RH-fest, I've been a pretty lame blogger. Lots going on what with the trip to Hawaii with my family (still a couple of recaps to go!) and working crazy hours, so I've just dropped off the planet. I'm catching up now!

Let me set the scene for you:

So it's Sunday morning, August 7th, I've been back from Hawaii a week. The day before, Saturday, I had a surprise girly-doctor visit and got some weird results so I've been in a funky mood. It's around noon and I have work at 2 pm.

Scene: I'm hanging with Mr. RH at his apartment and eating lunch before I have to go into work. We are chatting about anything and nothing in particular - one of our favorite things to do.

He gives me a funny look and I shoot back with my typical response: "Um, whatcha thinking in that big old head of yours?"

Cue face of panic from Mr. RH. I give him a weird look back.

And then it hits me, a wave of cold terror because I know what's coming.

He blushes, looks me in the eyes, and blurts out, "The thing is, I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with you."

And even though it is SO not the perfect moment (I'm in sweat pants for a long night at work and I had planned an absolutely perfect day at the park the following Monday to help facilitate such a conversation), it was perfect.

You see, I had been absolutely bursting for him to tell me he loved me. For at least 2 weeks prior. I didn't want to say it first because I knew it was important to him that he say it.

And I didn't him to say it right before I left or arrived back from Hawaii because he missed me.

And he felt the same way.

In fact, on the night I got back from Hawaii, I was extremely jet-lagged and had gotten upset about something. Cue tears of tiredness.

He had looked me right in the face as I pouted and I demanded to know what was on his mind. He said, "I'm just thinking that you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen and that there are so many things I want to tell you."

And, because I sensed what he wanted to say, I didn't push him. Shocker, I know.

So yeah. We've been dating for 2 months and I am head-over-heels in love with this man. This man who I've been searching for really seems to be here.

I have tried to push him away with lots of reasons: we haven't known each other long enough, it's just infatuation, he's too young, and on and on and on.

But at the end of the day, I can't deny him when he says we could talk for hours about anything and everything and it would be the best conversation I've ever had - the one I want to have for the rest of forever.

So I apologize for keeping it a secret for over a week.... I needed to keep our little secret in a bubble for a while. Live with it and share secret smiles about it and hold it in my heart until it exploded over and over and I was sure.

Because I feel surprisingly, unflinchingly sure.

And it feels amazing (if a little terrifying).

Did I ever think I'd find and fall in love this quickly? Um, that would be a big NO.

Did I anticipate finding love (again) before I hit the quarter century mark this year? No.

And yet.... it's the best, luckiest feeling in the entire world.